“A new disorder which actually leads to a new order” – Esther Perel
Life has been turned upside down and you are not sure how to make sense of what is going on.
Has something been off this whole time? Is there something wrong with me? How could I have prevented this from happening? How could they have broken my trust? What is wrong with them for destroying our relationship?
These questions + 100 more may be some of the questions you ask yourself when an affair has been exposed in your relationship.
What you do know is that you want to know everything and your detective hat is on and you are searching for everything you can find- phone calls, facebook messages, phone records, text messages, and so much more to try and fill in the blanks and understand what has happened.
Each time you find something new, the pain you feel inside gets worse. But you can’t stop yourself and you continue to look through everything. Each thing you find, you are filled with more pain and confusion.
You may feel like you are losing your mind, but of course you are. Dealing with an affair is like nothing you have ever experienced before. This feeling is so incredibly painful and deeply personal.
Everything you thought you knew, you don’t anymore. Your mind and heart are going so fast. The number one question you are probably thinking is how will I ever gain trust back in this relationship? Likely it feels impossible.