Why it’s so important to not ignore our emotions/feelings

Emotion is information.

Emotion is a signal our body is trying to send us.

Emotion is trying to que us in to our inner world and send a message.

When we ignore that, we are essentially telling ourselves that we have to say and think isn’t important. Also that emotion will just stayed stored in our body and likely manifest, at some point, physically. Allowing our emotions to be more in flow is so crucial for our nervous system to feel safe and relaxed.

Fear often comes up for people in regard to feeling your feelings!

I totally get this!! Clients often tell me they are worried if they feel their feelings they will just feel worse or be stuck in that “negative” place. I totally understand the fear, but emotions are just visitors. We aren’t gonna feel just one emotion forever. It will ebb and flow. And actually the more we allow ourselves the gift of feeling our feelings, the better we will get at it. It’s called expanding our window of tolerance! Our system will learn it is safe to linger in feelings. When we learn to linger in our feelings, be curious about our feelings, and have compassion for why we are feeling what we are feeling…I am willing to bet that the feelings will soothe and actually “get smaller” and not feel as loud or potent.

Often times people think avoiding feelings is easier because we can just get through and continue being productive. I have to challenge that. Sure…maybe initially but those emotions will inevitably come back up. Emotion demands to be felt. You might be able to avoid for awhile, but not forever. When they finally come back up, they will be bigger and louder. Essentially a bigger mess to clean up.

Here’s the cycle that happens with avoidance

Feelings arise. You either shut it down or don’t even realize the feeling is there.

Shove it down and as I like to say “put it in a box in the closet”

This ultimately sends your nervous system a signal that you are not receiving the message so it will send the message louder. It will get louder and louder until you can’t ignore it anymore.

It’s like waiting until the box falls on your head and everything falls out of the box. What a bigger mess to clean up!!

I get how scary it is to come face to face with hard feelings, but you owe it to yourself. Your emotions matter. What you are thinking and feeling matter. Name the feeling, acknowledge the feeling, be curious about the feeling, and have compassion for the feeling…and I’m willing to bet the emotion will shrink.

I would love to help hold the space for you to learn how to be more open to your emotional inner world and more tuned in to your feelings.

Contact me here!https://nicolelewistherapy.com/contact/