A Guide to Understanding Your Emotional Inner World…exploring the different parts of ourselves
Something I say ALL THE TIME is…multiple emotions can co exist at the same time. We rarely feel just one emotion about a given topic. We typically feel several things and different parts of us will experience different emotions.
An example I often give is when I was going through IVF. A part of me felt sad that I was getting “robbed” of certain experiences. Another part of me felt so incredibly grateful that the science existed and I had the resources to be able do IVF. In a way, these emotions contradict each other…but again how often d o we just feel one given emotion.
All of this to say…it is so important to get to know and understand our emotional inner world. We have protector parts-these parts are so diligent! They do everything they can to keep us safe…regardless of the cost it might take on our connection. For example, if you are fearful of rejection you may not put yourself out there in a vulnerable way. This will allow you to not get rejected, but it is also robbing you of an opportunity of connection. I always say…we should not judge our protector parts or get angry with them because these “parts” exist for good reason. Likely due to pain or hurt that we experienced deeply in the past. Getting angry with them, will likely make them feel misunderstood and fire up more. We should spend time getting curious about the part that has this fear and actually talk to it and meet it with compassion. When the part feels understood, it might not be as rigid. Processing through our emotions and befriending them really helps change our behavior.
We may have an angry part…same thing…explore it, get curious, have compassion. Try to understand the message and signal it is trying to tell you. Anger usually shows up because it feels triggered and likely you have ignored the ques of feeling sad or hurt, Anger is usually just covering up the more vulnerable parts that feel sad.
We can go through this with each emotion…but you do the same thing. Validate it, understand it, be curious, be compassionate and try to understand what signals your body is trying to send you.
Try not to talk yourself out of the feelings you are experiencing. That tends to backfire. It’s like the ocean and waves. If you get taken out from a current in the ocean…many people may have a instinct to swim against the wave, but the wave is stronger and will just keep taking you out further and further. But when you swim with the wave, the wave will eventually crash and you’ll get back to shore. I want you to do the same thing with your emotions. Allow yourself the space to feel it and trust that some sort of information is trying to get through.
If you need help working with your parts/inner child…I would love to be a part of that journey. We don’t have to do it alone.